We just can't catch a break...

Today trumps everything as the scariest day of my life...

My day started out pretty mundane. We had had the satellite guy out to give us a new box (holds 400 hours of recorded stuff, CRAZY!) and check the installation on our bedroom tv. We have been having a stomach bug go around for a while and Owen has had it the worst with vomiting and diarrhea for a couple of days now. I went to put Owen down for his morning nap and when I laid him down he started to cry A LOT. I picked him up and knew that he was going to probably pass out from holding his breath for too long. Something that he does often and it really doesn't phase us anymore. When he got to the blue in the face stage but didn't actually pass out, he started to have a SEIZURE! Wow, it was pretty scary. I ran into the living room to get my cell phone and called 911. I was surprisingly very calm. I told them my address, what has happening and how old Owen was and said I needed an ambulance right away. I laid Owen on the couch and made sure Emma knew everything was okay. I hung up with 911 and called Craig and said "Owen is having a seizure, ambulance is on its way, get home NOW" and said I had to go. Sorry Craig, I could have been a little more informative. Probably not a phone call he ever wants to get again!

It is now 9 hours later and I should just start a new post but I will just put this here.... the end of the last story is -- we were taken by ambulance to Children's Hospital where they ran a few tests and indicated he was fine and it was probably a fluke caused by holding his breath, being sick, dehydrated, ect. He did great at the hospital and was back to his old self. We had been home 30 MINUTES when...

As I typed out that last sentence, Emma and Owen were playing right in front of me. Emma knocked Owen down and he fell back and landed on the floor. Nothing out of the ordinary but being that he was exhausted already I knew it was going to cause him to freak and hold his breath. I put the computer down, and picked him up. I tried to get him to take a breath but knew he wouldn't. I laid him back to talk to him and let him know it was ok (I think it must be scary for him to pass out) when he started to have ANOTHER seizure. Seriously, what the hell? I laid him on the couch next to Craig and tried assessing him. This one was different. He wasn't breathing yet (not like any other pass out episodes or his previous seizure) and was kind of gasping. I grabbed the phone and dialed 911 again, told Craig to lay him on the floor in case we needed to do CPR. When we did that Craig tilted Owen's head back (first step in CPR) and Owen started to breath shallow breaths. His eyes were the same as last time but he wasn't twitching this time, just completely stiff. He stopped seizing and began to have a really weak cry. I went out to flag down the ambulance. The same guys came again and said that they definitely thought he was acting different this time too. More like he was having a true seizure. So, off to Children's Hospital we went again. This time we opted to go to the main campus of Children's were we had been when Owen got RSV.

We have decided to have a neuro workup done to determine what the cause is, this means spending the night in the hospital. I am here with Owen and Craig and Emma are at home. There are several things it could be but having things like an EEG, CT scan and so on are the only ways to determine if there is a true cause. It could be he holds his breath too long causing a jerking action that looks like a seizure but really isn't and is completely harmless, albeit TERRIFYING for me. It could be he has a virus. It could be that he is developing epilepsy. I could be that he has something more sinister like a tumor or something wrong with his heart. I will NOT let myself go there. It just can't be something that bad.

I went home to get a bag together and found myself talking aloud to God. I really, REALLY need strength to get through whatever lies ahead for us. I just don't know how much more I can take. I know that everything that has happened this past year with our children and this very hospital has all been nothing really -- RSV is a very common illness among babies, and Emma stuttering because she is just TOO smart, well, how bad can that be, really?! But, it is just draining. So emotionally draining, it is almost TOO much. I have no reason NOT to believe that this will be something easily fixed and will pass just as quickly as everything else.

Anyway, I will update just as soon as I know something tomorrow. It is 12:30am and I should probably get some sleep.

What a crappy day... My poor baby has been through so much, he deserves a break!